Growing Up To Be A User?

USER!!! That's what my friends branded me when they learned about what I did a couple of weeks ago.

Actually, the name is not because I used dope or anything. It's just that....

Well, I was stupid enough to spike my way to a guy's heart. You see, I'm hear-over-heels inlove (!#?! I'm not sure yet of how I feel but for lack of better word, as my limited vocabulary is failing me, allow me to use the word "love".) with AJ. But as all unreciprocated love, he doesn't seem to take notice of me. So I decided to drop hints here and there. hehehe....

That day witnessed my worst attempt to get AJ to notice me. I took advantage of some unsuspecting guy. I used this guy's rather friendly interest in me, to show AJ that I got good qualities that he fails to see. Actually, I didn't really do it consciously. I just realised that I did it to be noticed by AJ after my friends analyzed the incident.

My, am I so guilty! I felt so bad. It was not fair to that nice guy and it was, definitely, not fair to me. I mean, I'm a great girl and all. I don't have to do that! =P hehehe....

I guess, I can never really be a user. No matter how hard I try. Hey, I'm not trying to paint a good picture of me here. It's just that having done what I did made me feel like the real me was inside an ill-fitting shell.

Nah, I'm not trying to exonerate myself. I'm just sure that I will never wanna be that person who spiked her way to someone's life....

Lesson learned.